Doki Doki Literature Club!: Join The Club! – PART 1 – Game Grumps


[Arin] Hey, I’m grump! [Dan] I’m not so grump! [Arin & Dan] And we’re the game grumps! [Arin] Hey.
[Dan] Hello! [Arin] *laughs* Welcome…
[Dan] *laughs* Welcome to Doki Doki Literature Club! [Arin] Welcome to Doki Doki Literature Club. [Dan] All these girls have different color eyes… [Dan] I have the song “Smell Yo Dick” stuck in my head. [Dan] I have the song “Smell Yo Dick” stuck in my head.
[Arin] *laughs* [Arin] *laughs*
[Dan] And a lot of people requested this game. [Arin] Yeah… It’s just a- it’s just- [Arin] Yeah… It’s just a- it’s just-
[Dan] Those are three facts. [Arin] Yeah. [Arin] I mean, it’s just a- it’s just- [Arin] It’s just like any other dating game… [Arin] It’s just like any other dating game…
[Dan (singing)] Doo, doo… [Arin] Um, but it’s just- it’s just-
[Dan (singing)] Lemme smell yo dick… [Arin] It’s just kinda funny, so… [Dan] I’m into it. [Dan] I’m into it.
[Arin] Hopefully you’ll enjoy it. [Dan] Dude, I mean- who could look at this title screen and not be like… [Dan] “I’m having a good time already.” [Dan] “I’m having a good time already.”
[Arin] *laughs* [Arin] Yeah… Well, you’re gonna have a good time, I think. [Dan] “So, you girls go to high school, or…?” [Arin] *laughs*
[Dan] *laughs* [Arin] Uh…
[Dan] Enter your name, Arin! [Dan] Enter your name, Arin!
[Arin] D- uh… [Dan] “FriendArin?” [Arin] FriendArin… [Arin] FriendArin…
[Dan] *laughs* [Arin] Done… [Dan (robotic)] I am ready for dating. I am… Friend Arin. [Arin (robotic)] I enjoy hanging out with the female species. [Dan] Oh, is that you? [Dan] Oh, is that you?
[Arin (robotic)] Girls. [Arin] Heeeeeeeyyy!! [Arin (FriendArin stoner voice)] I see an annoying girl running towards me from the distance… [Dan] Yessss!
[Arin (FriendArin)] …waving her arms in the air like she’s totally oblivious to aaany attention she might draw to herseeelf. [Dan] Yesss. [Arin (FriendArin)] That girl is Sayoooori, my neighbor and a good friend since we were children. [Arin (FriendArin)] You know, the kind of friend you’d never see yourself making today… [Arin (FriendArin)] …but it just kind of works out because you’ve known each other for so looong??? [Dan] What does that mean…? [Arin (FriendArin)] We used to walk to school together on days like this, but starting- [Arin (FriendArin)] …around high school she would oversleep more and more frequently, and I would get tired of waiting up. [Dan] I mean, sleep over. Not oversleep. Sorry, I’m a stud. [Arin (FriendArin)] But if she’s going to chase after me like this, I almost feel better off ruuunning awaaaay. [Dan] *wheezes* [Arin (FriendArin)] Howeeever… [Dan] *laughs*
[Arin (FriendArin)] I just sigh and idle in front of the crosswalk and let Saayoooori catch up to me. [Dan] I like to imagine he’s just standing on the sidewalk, saying all this out loud, loudly to himself. [Dan] I like to imagine he’s just standing on the sidewalk, saying all this out loud, loudly to himself.
[Arin] *laughing* Yeah. [Arin (FriendArin)] Maaan, Sayori’s an interesting girl, because of-
[Dan] *laughing* [Arin] Some guy with, like, a briefcase walks by, like-
[Dan] *laughing* Like… like- [Dan] Inches away… *laughing* [Dan] Inches away… *laughing*
[Arin (idly)] …The fuck…? [Dan] Oh- [Dan (high-pitched valley girl Sayori)] Haaahhh… [Dan (high-pitched valley girl Sayori)] Haaaeaeah. [Dan (Sayori)] I overslept again! [Arin (FriendArin)] Pffft-! Typical Sayoooori. [Dan (Sayori)] But I caught you this time! [Dan (Sayori)] Stop… talking about me loudly! [Dan (Sayori)] Stop… talking about me loudly!
[Arin] *chuckles* [Dan (Sayori)] Maybe, buh, becau-
[Arin] *laughing* No, that’s me… [Dan] Oh… *chuckles*
[Arin (FriendArin)] Maybe, but only because I decided to stop and wait for you. [Arin (FriendArin)] Maybe, but only because I decided to stop and wait for yoooouuuu… [Dan (Sayori)] Eh, you say that like you were thinking about ignoring me! [Arin (FriendArin)] Get bigger haaands! [Dan] *laughs* [Dan] *laughs*
[Arin] *laughs* [Dan (Sayori)] This is where a tiny house roof would be. [Arin] *laughs* [Dan] *wheezes* [Dan (Sayori)] Where’s my nose?! [Arin] *laughs shrilly* [Dan (Sayori)] So many questions… [Arin] Yeah, I want you to say this… [Dan] Oh! [Dan (Sayori)] That’s mean, FriendArin! [Arin] *laughs* [Arin (FriendArin)] Well, if people stare at you for acting weird then I don’t want them to think we’re a COOUPLE or something. [Dan (Sayori)] A couple of what? [Arin] *laughs* [Dan (Sayori)] Fine, fine. [Arin (Sayori voice)] Couple of tiny hands? [Dan (Sayori)] Aha… I made this vest out of dragon skin. [Arin] *laughing* I was just going to comment on that! [Arin] *laughing* I was just going to comment on that!
[Dan] *laughing* [Dan] *laughing*
[Arin] It looks like a fish… [Dan (Sayori)] But you did wait for me, after all. [Arin] *laughs* [Dan (Sayori)] I guess you don’t have it in you to be mean even if you want to- [Arin (FriendArin)] Whatever you say bitch! [Dan] *laughs*
[Arin] *laughs* [Dan (Sayori)] I’m going to go home and oversleep! [Arin] *laughs* [Dan (Sayori)] Eheheheheh
[Arin] *laughs* [Dan] *laughs*
[Arin] *laughs* [Arin (FriendArin)] We cross the street together and make our way to schooool. [Arin (FriendArin)] As we draw near, the streets become increasingly speckled [Arin (FriendArin)] with other students making their daily commuuuuuute [Dan (Sayori)] By the way, FriendArin… [Dan (Sayori)] Have you decided on a club to join yet? [Arin (FriendArin)] Yeah.. the ‘Get Away From Sayori Club’. [Dan] *wheezes* [Arin (FriendArin)] A club? [Dan] *laughs*
[Arin] *laughs* [Arin (Sayori)] How about B club? [Dan] *laughs*
[Arin] *laughs* [Dan (Sayori)] I. [Dan] Oh, that’s you. [Arin] Oh. [Arin (FriendArin)] I told you already I’m really not interested in joining any clubs. [Arin (FriendArin)] I haven’t been looking, either. [Dan (Sayori)] Ehhhh. That’s not true. [Arin] *laughs* [Arin] Why did you sink for a second? [Dan (Sayori)] EhHEHEH HELP! [Dan] *laughs*
[Arin] *laughs* [Dan (Sayori)] I’m standing in quicksand [Dan (Sayori)] and my tiny supple hands… [Arin] *laughs* [Dan (Sayori)] are useless for pulling me out. [Arin (Sayori)] They’re like daggers! [Dan] *laughs* [Arin (Sayori)] Sinking into the ocean! [Dan] *laughs* [Dan (Sayori)] You told me you would join a club this year. [Dan (in Northeastern Sayori voice)] You loied to me. [Arin (FriendArin)] DID I? [Arin (FriendArin)] I’m sure it’s possible that I did during our many conversations [Arin (FriendArin)] where I dismissively go along with whatever she’s going on about. [Dan] Yeah [Dan] and..
[Arin (Sayori)] Why would you say that? [Dan] *chuckle*
[Dan (Sayori)] Join the fish fest club! [Arin] *laughs* [Dan (Sayori)] You’ll love it! [Dan] *girlish giggle* [Arin (FriendArin)] Sayori likes to worry a little too much about me [Arin (FriendArin)] when I’m perfectly content with getting on… [Arin (FriendArin)] getting by on the average while spending my free time on games and anime! [Dan (Sayori)] Uh-huh [Dan (Sayori)] I was talking about how I’m worried that you won’t learn how to socialize or have any skills before college. [Arin (FriendArin)] Fuck you! [Dan (Sayori)] Never mind your social skills are great. [Arin] *laughs* [Dan (Sayori)] Your happiness is really important to me you know! [Dan (Sayori)] And I know you’re happy now, but I’d die at the thought of you becoming a NEET in a few years– [Dan] I don’t know what that means. [Arin] Uhhhhhh… [Arin] I used to know… [Dan (Sayori)] Because you’re not used to the real world-
Goddammit, I have to look up what a NEET is! [Dan (Sayori)] *far away* You trust me right? [Dan (Sayori)] Don’t make me keep worry about you,
You fucking NEET! [Dan] *giggles* [Arin (FriendArin)] Aaaalright… Aaaalright… [Arin (FriendArin)] I’ll look at a few clubs if it makes you haaappy. [Dan] I-I-I w- [Arin (FriendArin)] This one’s biiig and made out of wooood. [Dan] I can’t wait to, like, look this up and have it mean like… [Dan] Uhhh, like… [Dan] NEET [Dan] “An offensive slur for an Italian” [Arin] *laughs*
[Dan] *laughs* [Dan (Sayori ] You fucking NEET! [Dan] *laughs* [Dan (Sayori)] You’ll never get into college! [Arin (FriendArin)] No promises, though. [Dan] NEET. [Dan] “A young person who is no longer in the education system and who is not working or being trained for work.” [Dan] Oh. So me between the ages of 22 and 35. [Dan (Sayori)] Will you at least promise me you’ll try a little? [Arin] Wait, isn’t it an acronym? [Dan] Oh, I don’t know… [Arin] Not Educated… [Arin] Especially…. [Arin] …today… [Dan] …today… [Arin] *laughs [Arin (FriendArin)] Yeah.. I guess I’ll promise you that… [Dan (Sayori)] Yay… [Arin (FriendArin)] Why do I let myself be lectured by such a carefree girl? [Dan (Sayori)] Not every elephant touches ~ that’s what NEET stands for. [Arin] *laughs*
[Dan] *laughs* [Arin (FriendArin)] More than that, I’m surprised I even let myself relent to her. [Arin (FriendArin)] I guess seeing her worry so much about me makes me want to ease her mind… [Arin (FriendArin)] At least a little bit, even if she does exaggerate everything inside of her head… [Dan] Oh my God, this is taking me back to Sakura Spirit so much. [Arin (FriendArin)] The school day is as ordinary as ever and it’s over before I know it. [Dan] Also, no one showed up today! [Arin] *laughs* [Dan] Why did I come here? [Arin (FriendArin) ] It’s really lonely in here… [Arin (FriendArin)] After I pack up my things, I stare blankly at the wall ’cause there’s nothing else [Arin (FriendArin)] and all the paper’s blank, too… [Dan] All that’s left… [Arin (FriendArin)] looking for an ounce of motivation. [Arin (FriendArin)] Clubs… [Arin (FriendArin)] Sayori wants me to check out some clubs. [Arin (FriendArin)] Clubs…
[Dan] *laughs* [Arin (FriendArin)] I guess I have no choice but to start with the amine club… [Dan (Sayori)] Hello…? [Arin (FriendArin)] Sayori…? [Arin (FriendArin)] Sayori must have come into the classroom while I was spacing out. [Dan (Sayori)] How did you not see me come in? I’m, like, literally the only person in this building… [Arin (FriendArin)] Clubs… [Dan] *laughs* [Arin (FriendArin)] I look around and realize that I’m the only one left in the classroom. [Dan (Sayori)] I thought I’d catch you coming out of the classroom [Dan (Sayori)] but I saw you just sitting here and spacing out, so I came in. [Dan (Sayori)] Honestly, you’re even worse than me sometimes… I’m impressed! [Dan (Sayori) ] Ahahahaha! [Dan (Sayori) ] Now wake up! [Dan] She slaps you with a tiny hand. [Arin (FriendArin)] *laughs* Ow… [Arin (FriendArin)] It’s like a needle…
[Dan] *laughs* [Dan] *laughs* [Arin (FriendArin)] You don’t need to wait up for me if it’s going to make you late to your own cluuuub. [Dan] It’s like a… It’s like a quarter with five toothpicks [Dan] taped to it.
[Arin] *laughs* [Dan (Sayori)] Well, I thought you might need some encouragement [Dan (Sayori)] so I thought, you know… [Arin] Smack. [Dan] *laughs* Slap. [Arin (FriendArin)] Know whaaat? [Dan (Sayori)] Well, that you could come to my club. [Arin (FriendArin)] What? *laughs* Is it the Lame Girl Club? [Arin (FriendArin)] Tiny Hand Club? [Dan (Sayori) ] It is! [Arin] *laughs*
[Dan] *laughs* [Arin (Sayori)] Join it, won’t cha? [Arin (FriendArin)] …There’s no way I’m going to your club. [Dan (Sayori)] Eeeehhhh? Meanie! [Dan (Sayori)] Going into my tiny house with the tiny roof. [Dan (Sayori)] Going into my tiny house with the tiny roof.
[Arin] *laughs* [Arin (FriendArin)] Sayori’s vice president of the Literature Club. [Arin (FriendArin)] Not that I was ever aware that she had any interest in literature. [Arin (FriendArin)] In fact, I’m 99% sure she only did it because she thought it would be fun to help start a new club. [Arin (FriendArin)] Since she was the first one to show interest after the one who proposed the club, [Arin (FriendArin)] she inherited the title “Vice President.” [Dan (FriendArin)] She’s also the head of the No Nose, Sweating Profusely From the Face Club. [Dan] *wheezes* [Arin (FriendArin ] That said,
[Dan] *laughs* [Arin (FriendArin)] my interest in literature is guaranteed to be even less. [Arin (FriendArin)] Yeah, I’m going to the anime club. [Dan (Sayori)] C’mon, please? [Arin] *laughs* Please? [Arin (FriendArin)] Why do you care so much, anyway? [Dan (Sayori)] Well… [Dan (Sayori)] I kind of told the club yesterday I’d bring in a new member… [Dan (Sayori)] And you’re just the member I’m looking for– and Natsuki made cupcakes and everything… [Dan] Cupcakes?! [Dan (Sayori) & Arin] Ehehe… [Dan (Sayori)] Ehehehe…
[Arin] *laughs* [Dan (Sayori)] Heheheh… [Arin (FriendArin)] Don’t make promises you can’t keep! [Dan (Sayori)] Eheheh… [Arin] *laughs*
[Dan] *laughs* [Arin (FriendArin)] I can’t tell if… [Arin (FriendArin)] Stop. [Dan] *laughs* [Arin (FriendArin)] I can’t tell if Sayori is really that much of an airhead, [Arin (FriendArin)] or if she’s so cunning as to have planned all of this out. [Dan (Sayori ] Heh… [Arin (FriendArin)] I let out a long sigh. [Arin (FriendArin)] *inhales* *lets out a long sigh* [Dan (Sayori)] Ehehehehheh… [Arin (FriendArin)] Fine, I’ll stop by for a cupcake, okaaaay? [Dan (Sayori ] Yes! Let’s go~! [Dan] Aww, this is nice. [Arin (FriendArin)] And thus, today marks the day I sold my soul for a cupcake. [Arin (FriendArin)] I dejectedly follow Sayori across the school and upstairs– [Arin (FriendArin)] a section of the school I rarely visit, [Arin (FriendArin)] being generally used for third-year classes and activities. [Dan (FriendArin)] The school hallway is speckled with ghosts and other non-existent students. [Dan] *giggles* [Arin (FriendArin)] Sayori, full of energy, swings open the classroom door. [Dan (Sayori)] Everyone! Everyone…? [Dan] *laughs*
[Arin] *laughs* [Dan (Sayori)] The new member is here~! [Arin (FriendArin)] I told you, don’t call me a “new member—” [Arin (FriendArin)] Eh? I glance around the room. [Dan (deep-voiced Yuri)] Welcome to the Literature Club. [Dan (deep-voiced Yuri)] Welcome to the Literature Club.
[Arin] *laughs* [Dan (deep-voiced Yuri)]It’s a pleasure meeting you. [Dan (Yuri)] Sayori always says nice things about you. [Dan] *wheezes*
[Arin] *laughs* [Dan] That-That has to be you– [Arin] Oh– [Dan] I can’t do– I’ll never keep– [Arin (sassy high-pitched Natsuki)] Seriously? You brought a boy? [Arin (Natsuki)] Way to kill the atmosphere. [Arin] *laughs* [Dan (very enthusiastic and loud Monika)] Aaaaaaaah!
[Arin] *laughs* [Dan (very enthusiastic and loud Monika)] FriendArin! What a nice surprise! [Dan (Monika)] Welcome to the club! [Dan] Mmn–
[Arin] Aaughhh– [Arin (FriendArin)] All words
[Dan] All… oh. [Arin (FriendArin)] escape me in this situation. [Arin (FriendArin)] Except for dot, dot, dot… [Arin (FriendArin)] This club… [Arin (FriendArin)] …is full of incredibly cute girls!! [Dan (FriendArin voice)] Shouldn’t have said that out loud! [Arin] *laughs*
[Dan] *snorts* [Arin (Natsuki)] What are you looking at? [Arin (Natsuki)] If you wanna say something, say it. [Arin (FriendArin)] S-Sooorry… [Dan (Yuri)] Natsuki… [Arin] *burps* [Arin (Natsuki)] Hmph! [Arin (FriendArin)] The girl with the sour attitude, whose name is apparently Natsuki, [Arin (FriendArin)] is one I don’t recognize. [Arin (FriendArin)] Her small figure makes me think she’s probably a first-year. [Arin (FriendArin)] She also is the one who made cupcakes, according to Sayori. [Dan (FriendArin)] It’s gonna be tough to extricate these cupcakes, but I’ll fucking figure something out! [Dan (Sayori)] You can just ignore her when she gets moody~ [Dan (Sayori) ] Sayori says that quietly into… oh. [Arin] *laughs* [Arin] *laughs*
[Dan] *laughs* [Arin (FriendArin) ] Sayori says that quietly into my ear, then turns back toward the other girls. [Dan (Sayori)] Anyway! This is Natsuki, always full of energy. [Dan (Sayori)] And this is Yuri, the smartest in the club. [Dan (Yuri)] D-Don’t say things like that… [Arin] *laughs* [Arin (FriendArin)] Yuri, who appears comparably more mature and timid, [Arin (FriendArin)] seems to have a hard time keeping up with people like Sayori and Natsuki. [Arin (FriendArin)] Ah… Well, it’s nice to meet both of you. [Dan (Sayori)] And it sounds like you already know Monika, is that right? [Arin (FriendArin)] That seems like a weirdly American name… [Dan (Monika)] That’s right! [Dan (Monika)] It’s great to see– [Dan] I’m not gonna be able to keep this voice up. [Dan] I need to come up with a new voice, but I’ll do it next time on Game Grumps. [Arin] Oh okay. [Dan] Yeah. [Dan] I guess we’re fucking doing this!
[Arin] Well, when we’ll… [Arin] When we’ll really get in the thick of it! [Dan] Yeah. Oh, have we merely scratched the surface– [Dan] Yeah. Oh, have we merely scratched the surface–
[Arin] Oh [Dan] of the intricate social web?
[Arin] yeah… We haven’t [Arin] even gotten to the– the good shit yet. [Dan] Oh my God… is this the Literature Club, though? [Arin] This is the Literature Club, yes. [Dan] Oh my God… [Arin] Um… but yeah, next time on Game Grumps. [Dan] Yesss! [Dan (robotic)] It’s great to see you again, FriendArin. [Dan] That’s what– [Dan] Monika’s definitely going to be… [Arin] That’s what I was just thinking about…
[Dan] The alien robot. [Dan] Okay, excellent!

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