[instrumental music] Hey, guys, I’m doing
all new material tonight. I have 12 new songs
about my mother’s suicide. and one about a snowman. Might wanna open
with the snowman. – Hey, Joey.
– Hey, Joey. – Hey, buddy.
– Hey, Jo. So how’d it go? Uh, I didn’t get the job. (together)
Oh. How could you not get it? You were Santa last year. I don’t know,
some fat guy’s sleeping with the store manager. He’s not even jolly.
It’s all political. So what are you gonna be? Uh, I’m gonna be
one of his helpers. It’s just such a slap
in the face, you know? Hey, do you guys know what
you’re doing for New Years? [indistinct chatter] Gee! what?
What is wrong with New Years? Well, nothing for you.
You have Paolo. You don’t have to face
the horrible pressures of this holiday. Desperate scramble to
find anything with lips just so you can have somebody
to kiss when the ball drops – Man, I’m talking loud! Well, for your information Paolo’s gonna be in Rome
this New Year’s. So I’ll be just as pathetic
as the rest of you. Yeah, you wish. Just that I’m sick of being a
victim this Dick Clark Holiday. I say this year,
no dates, we make a pact. Just the six of us. Dinner. – Sure.
– Okay. We’ll do that. You know, I was hoping for
a little more enthusiasm. [cheering] Okay, Phoebe, you’re on. Oh, oh, good. Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen
back by popular demand. Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooo! [applauding] Hi. Thanks. Hi. Uh, ahem, I wanna
start with a song that means a lot to me
this time of year. ♪ I made a man
with eyes of coal ♪ ♪ And a smile so bewitchin’ ♪ How was I supposed to ♪ That my mom was dead
in the kitchen ♪ ♪ La la la la la.. ♪ My mother’s ashes ♪ Even her eyelashes ♪ Are resting in
a little yellow jar ♪ ♪ And sometimes
when it’s freezing ♪
[indistinct chatter] ♪ I feel a little sneezy
and now I.. ♪
[indistinct chatter] Excuse me? Excuse me? Yeah, noisy boys. Is it something that you would
to share with the entire group? No, no, that’s-that’s o. Well, come on,
if it’s important enough to discuss while I’m pl. Then, I assume it’s
important enough for everyone else to he. That guy’s going
home with a note. [clears throat]
Nothin’, I was,
I was just saying– – Could you speak up, p?
– Sorry. I was.. I was just saying friend
that I thought you were the most
beautiful woman that I’d ever seen
in-in my life. And then, he said that,
you-you said you thought – Daryl Hannah
– Daryl Hannah was the most, uh,
beautiful woman that he’d ever seen in his life. And I said, “Yeah, I lir
in Splash a lot “but not so much
in-in Wall Street. I thought she had a.. (together)
…hard quality. ‘And, uh, and, uh, well,
Daryl Hannah’ is beautiful in
a conventional way you are, uh, luminous
with a kind of delicate grace. Then, uh, that-that-that’s
when you started yelling. Okay, we’re gonna
take a short break. I think that guy’s going
home with more than a note.